I give nothing to society, I was told I was Autistic when I was just a toddler because "I loved computers and didn't socialise". At 13, I tried to kill myself but my parents found me. I then spent nearly 6 months in the suicide ward where I was deamed "cured" and let go. I spent so long out of the school system, I could never go to college, no one wanted to hire me since Athistic people are not good employees.
That was 20 years ago. I think of suicide daily, it bring me Tremendous and Immense comfort to know, I can jump off my balcony and be done with it. I'm sick of being on disability, I never wanted to be a victim, I wanted to work in computers, and build robots and program them, even got pretty good at it. I was taking Flight classes and learning to repair planes.
then Bam, your declared Autistic and I watched my future vanish as I sat in a padded rooms, Doctors officie, and going to schools for "special" children.
I rather die then continue my life, why am I allowed to live. No, ENCOURAGED to live if all I can manage is a disability check and maybe some crap minimum wage part time job.
I have suicidal toughts everyday, it's what keeps me motivated, I can try and dig my way out, but when I get to tired and hungry, I can just take my 9mm pill.