Trans ladies who have not dilated in a super long after surgery, and older cis ladies who haven't had any in a long time, generally have to start from scratch. So, making all kinds of crazy assumptions, here's some ideas that could help down there.

A good water based lube, a set of dilators (like trans ladies use)(they are smooth and come in smaller sizes) warmed, a gentle partner (or a mirror) and patience. Be careful of angles and positions if it gets weird. Sometimes a topical estrogen cream is needed to help things get back in shape; not to worry, the effects are local and will not spread systemically.

As many ladies know, foreplay is a thing; get worked up first. Have an orgasm your way before you try any penetration. Think of your partner doing sexy things... oh my

If it hurts or bleeds a lot, see a doctor! Confidence, patience, you'll get there.