I might get some hate for this, but I had a very similar situation growing up. My mom was pretty emotionally dependent on me and my dad would just follow through on what she did because he didn't want to upset her. Lines that you described in this entry are verbatim things she said: "My house, my rules." and "Are you like this with your friends?!" and "You're forcing me to make tough choices" and "I'm not stupid! Don't think you can get around my punishments!" and "You think your classwork is hard? When I was your age, I worked three jobs and got out of high school early with a GED!!!"

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^I'm going to ignore your girlfriend because this relationship with your mother would be difficult regardless of her being in your life.

Around early to middle high school my parents would impose restrictions on me that we're definitely #firstworldproblems but they were difficult to deal with nonetheless! A slight twist on the "my house, my rules" line would sometimes yield a "if you don't like it, you can move out! that's what I did!" I tried sitting down to communicate with her, but she failed to see reason, belittled my arguments, belittled me, and got into hysterics in general. I had to get drastic... I called up a few friends and set up for a long-haul of not sleeping at my own home. Saving money from my summer job so that when school came around, I could go to a friend's home and do whatever I wanted.

By the first night, my mom was blowing up my phone and I just kept hanging up on her telling her I've moved out because she was too restrictive and I couldn't handle living with her anymore. When your 16-year old son says your unbearable, I guess it serves as a good enough wake-up call... We finally had a constructive conversation where she listened and compromised. From that day on we were able to communicate a lot better and I have an amazing relationship with her. It just took me moving out to realize that she was dependent on me and therefore overbearing/controlling.

Good luck, OP!