I'll probably get down voted into oblivion for this, but as someone who has been through this sort of situation, I think you sounds kind of heartless and like you are actually a major part of the problem and are refusing to take responsibility for your own failures as a wife. Sounds like you are presenting a very one-sided argument of why you are leaving. And your therapist is terrible for confirming your personal biases against your husband. He obviously cares or he wouldn't be freaking out and crying.

What ARE you doing in this relationship for him? Why does he consistently feel that he is the only one putting in effort? You keep writing down places where he has failed, but you haven't highlighted anything about yourself, leading me to believe you are projecting your own selfishness onto him.

So tell us what you are doing that he isn't, exactly, that makes him selfish and not you. Because seeing what he is saying to you tells me he is trying really hard to reach out but you are probably doing things that make him feel severely mistreated by you which is creating a loop. Plus, you did admit to not being the person he married. Can you admit that your changes, which you made of your own volition, are the driving factor in the failure of your relationship, and not your husband's hurt feelings because of how you treat him because of how you personally changed?

Sure, this all is harsh, but I really don't liek seeing such one-sided argument. You are looking for confirmation, and you found an echo chamber here. But from my perspective you are at least, if not more, at fault here.