The military or similar is NOT the place to stand out.

Sure. It sounds like she's trying not to stand out, but there's only so much you can do when you're kind of a rarity on the base. But casual glances are hardly some kind of hardship. If you think you can somehow control how people look at you then you're living in la la land.

she is supposed to be an anonymous part of a seamless whole

That is a very unrealistic concept, and not one any practical manager/field commander can truly control. You can put people in the same uniform, you can have them shave their heads, etc, but the kind of homogeneity you're conceptualizing here doesn't exist in reality--it wouldn't even exist if it was men-only again. It certainly won't happen when you put people of different genders in the same group. It won't. You can't somehow manage everyone into homogeneous automatons.

Since a bunch of jerks say women can't be in combat or shouldn't be in uniform, because they 'distract men', pretty sure she's trying to be responsible until cultural norms catch up. She shouldn't have to be shouldering the burden (ahem), but that's where we are now.

This whole paragraph had absolutely nothing to do with anything I was saying, but sure.

I think maybe I'm being misunderstood here. If she's being harassed, if people are getting physical with her, if she's being denied opportunities guaranteed to her under the law, then I fully support any effort she takes to report those incidents. I just fail to see the issue with someone looking at her.