First off, this is technically incorrect. The highest call of Catholicism is to love God, and while we cannot do this without loving our neighbors as ourselves, it is disingenuous to claim that love of neighbor is the highest call.

I agree and didn't mean to phrase anything in a way that disagreed with anything you said. A view that we should see God in everyone and love them with all our heart is, too, a way of wording it and I guess I was trying to capture that as a version of the highest call you're describing. Either way, though, I'm completely with you.

See, now when people say that, it becomes apparent to me that we don't mean the same thing when we say the word "love." When a Catholic says the word "love," they don't mean the sentimental affectation, they mean the will to another's good.

I think more specifically you mean that's what Aquinas described love as, and it's an amazing definition I find immensely meaningful, but I feel that ignoring the more tangible, earthly love for others as an action that might be described as charity, empathy, compassion, or similar for the sake of that definition would be a mistake. I don't at all accuse you of ignoring that, but I'd point out that when I read through /r/catholicism on a number of topics, especially hot button cultural topics, I very rarely come away with a feeling of love in the second sense I just described.

I can't imagine any Catholic doesn't have doctrine that they struggle with in a genuine spiritual way (as opposed to thinking it's okay to not go to Mass because you like sleeping in, haha), but in this thread about Catholics who, out of a place of charity, empathy, and compassion for others struggle with the Church's teaching on same-sex relationships, there are comments saying that those Catholics should not come back to Mass, that they're not really Catholics, and so on. How much good could be done by having meaningful, empathetic, thoughtful dialog with fellow Catholics, let alone with non-religious people, instead of being dismissive of their genuine spiritual struggles? You don't get people to believe by the sword and you don't get people to agree with your doctrine by dismissing their concerns, let alone being hostile to them. Plus that sort of negativity can't be good for the health of anyone's soul, since at best hurtful comments come from a place dangerously close to allowing yourself to be judgmental or hateful.

These approaches seem so self-defeatist (and out of phase with my conscience in a way I don't feel it would be accurate to say is malformed) to me, prioritizing self-righteousness over empathy, and this was the only point I meant to make.