Sorry, never told this to anyone before and wanted to write it down somehow.

Something similar happened to me. I was very young, attending a college course through a program from my High School and was studying with a guy from that class. I was 15, he was about 25.

We were at his apartment, it was Saturday, getting pretty late.

Like I said, I was 15 and still very very naive, hadn't had any experience beforehand. A year later it turned out that I had delayed onset of puberty because of low body weight and too few estrogens produced, at that point I was still mostly baffled by guys. When he suggested watching a movie I didn't think anything other than "Oh hey, let's watch a movie."

We sat down on his bed because he didn't have a couch, started watching the movie, at some point he put his arm around me. It felt very nice, so I sort of leaned back into his arm.

When he started kissing me I didn't know how to react. I didn't react at all. He kissed me for a while, started touching my chest (I wasn't wearing a bra because I would have needed a concave one by then. He said "Oh, hot" when he felt that I didn't wear anything under my shirt).

After a while he removed my shirt and his own and continued kissing and touching me. For me I still didn't have any pattern for what to do. Never experienced it before, never talked about this situation before, never read about or seen it in a movie, my brain was simply drawing a blank. I always need at least some clue by former experience and I had none.

When he removed his belt for some reason I remembered a movie scene where that had happened after the guy seduced the girl. In the scene that lead to the screen fading out. I knew that meant sex. I knew I didn't want sex. I needed to reject sex. I had read a book, (second from the series "Vampire Academy") where the protagonist made out with another character, then warned him "I'm not having sex." because she didn't want it. So I had a pattern on how to reject sex.

As ridiculous as that sounds, I started touching the guy back for two minutes, then told him "I'm not having sex" because that was the only way I knew how to say no to sex.

He told me "Oh, okay." and sent me home. I went home, went for a run and sorta rebalanced myself- thinking about the stuff and putting them into context.