Increasingly, I find myself thinking that my existence is more negative than positive. I'm largely unable to make any meaningful positive contributions to the wider cause - and at the same time, I feel like my existence itself is a negative; that by existing I'm doing something wrong. Furthermore, I basically ruin everything I come into contact with, poison every community I've ever been in, and I've destroyed every relationship of any kind I've ever had.

I'm not actively suicidal, but I really wish I was dead. I've suffered from crippling guilt and shame for most of my life, but right now it's reached a point where my conscience is constantly telling me 'm doing something seriously unethical simply by staying alive. Though it would also be unethical to commit suicide, of course.