I feel like a burden. I feel as though I should seal every non-positive emotion I experience deep inside myself, and just soldier onwards with a false display of stoicism. I know that's not what feminists would encourage me to do, quite the opposite of it. But with all of this "emotional labor" discourse, that's what I'm left feeling. It's honestly beginning to feel like a "progressive" way of telling men to bottle their emotions.

It just makes me feel like I can't talk to any of the women I know about any sort of emotional issues I might have. Because the narrative in feminist spaces online is that "Men treat their partners like therapists, he should keep that shit to himself and tell it to other men, or his therapist, we women deal with enough." I luckily, do have close male friends I can talk with, and I do. But it's suffocating to not be allowed to let my partner, the person I'm closest with, the one I want to share the rest of my life with, about any of my problems. She hasn't told me I can't, or I shouldn't. But reading so much of this stuff from feminist blogs and subs has made me feel as though I have to.

I'm only supposed to show emotion under the right "contexts". With other men, or behind closed doors with my therapist. But with the one I love, I feel as though I'm supposed to keep it bottled up, so as not to burden her. That's what the discourse has led me to believe women really want. And she hasn't complained that I no longer cry, or open up in front of her. She can't even tell that I'm dying inside, and all I want is to cry for a bit and feel her hold me close. I'm still there for her, and I know she would be there for me if I asked her to be. But I feel like that's selfish of me. I'm a man. She is a woman. Her problems are more important than mine, and mine are nothing but a burden to her.