I (24f) have been with my bf (25m) for over two years. We have been living together for almost two years as well.
Before we decided to become exclusive we essentially functioned as being in an LDR. We would see each other on weekends, and would have copious amounts of sex because, hey, we hadn't seen each other all week! When we started living together, the sex was pretty frequent, but then started to die down, as I expected it would. I was busy with school and he was working 10 hour shifts. But it died down to a point that I wasn't comfortable with. I expressed this, but he gets so uncomfortable talking about sex it was like I was talking to myself. He'd admit it was an issue, but nothing would change. I figured he was tired from work and tried to be understanding, but it got to the point where I would try to initiate by rubbing his dick and saying I was horny..his response "oh, ok", and went back to playing video games. Because I apparently wasn't being obvious enough..
Flash forward, we bought a house, and just got a puppy.. And things are basically the same. Every few months we'll have a huge conversation about our sex life and the frequency will increase for a week, but sure enough, it goes back to being fairly nonexistent. I know that he's stressed about money, and is exhausted from working 12 hour shifts now, but I can't help feeling resentful. He hates when I bring the issue up because he gets uncomfortable, feels like I'm nagging and that all I care about is sex, and then feels disinclined to have sex. So it's a vicious cycle. And now, I've basically stopped initiating because I've been rejected so much I can't bear the thought of it happening again.
I've suggested counselling but he isn't receptive, and is worried that he'll get a " depressed " label on his file which will affect his career negatively (military).
I know from reading a lot of similar stories that the consensus is 'if it's been less long it won't change, leave!'. So I really don't know why I'm posting this.. I just really thought i was finally getting laid yesterday and it never happened, so I'm feeling like shit today. Sigh.