Since I apparently can't think straight anymore, I'd really appreciate an outside perspective on this. (Though it'll be wholly regarding my onesided thoughts on my relationship but better then nothing)

I'm in a monogynous relationship (f27/m29) soon to celebrate 7 years together. We've been living together almost since the beginning. Now we have been in a fantastic relationship for almost 7 years and it has been, and in some instances still is a beautiful relationship. We love eachother but these past two years I've started having doubts.

This is my first relationship, we hardly talk about feelings or stuff like that, we just follow the flow. And since I'm a big overthinker who analyzes everything, question myself and my feelings daily - well I'm panicing. We've been talking alot about this, that I worry and question things that my respective otter (pun intended) simply don't question and assume is great. To make a long story short. I feel like taken for granted and that the relationship is standing still because my partner doesn't seem to be thinking about feelings or where we're going. My partner thinks that I'm overthinking, looking for things to worry about, and wishes I just could chill out about it and continue going with the flow. I wish that I didn't have to take the alone responsibility of cruising this relationship since I have to man up and start these "big talks" whenever I feel we've in a rough patch. My partner never seems to feel these things or answer with "yeah now that you mention it, I've felt that something's wrong or thought about that too.." But never initiates to talk about that with me. I don't know why this bothers me so much. I know that in the longrun we could live perfectly happy together. We both want a house, neither wants children, we share so many hobbies and interests and enjoy eachothers company so much. But this "go with the flow" mentality is taking me nowhere anymore. I don't feel that it takes us closer, and feel like I'm together with a very very cool friend.

I've talked about theese feelings and thoughts with my partner. It was a brutal talk where I made it clear that I felt like we were close friends but not in a relationship anymore. I suggested that we might move apart to see if there was a spark alit again when the mundane go with the flow attitude wouldn't work. But we decided to try harder, and I thought to myself that I'd bring this up again around New Years just to see how things progressed. Now I see that we're in the same spot and I really could use some advice. Am I ruining this amazing relationship on purpose? In that case - wtf is wrong with me? Am I overthinking things and should chill the fuck down?

I feel like my whole world is breaking and that I'm the biggest ass for thinking/feeling this way and I cry a lot since my heart is torn and I can't decide if it's because I should stay or if it's because I know I need to go eventhough I know it'll end the world as I know it.