I picked my goal weight! Kind of! This doesn't sound like a victory, but I've been agonizing over this. I have a history of restrict too much, then binge, then restrict to counter… ugh. So, I'm losing weight freaking slowly (1 pound a week) because realistically, I can't dip below 1400-1500 calories per day (usually 1500) and not deal with binge urges associated with that. Because of my history with this, I have to eat semi-frequently, and eat that much. 1200 isn't going to work for me. And this is something I have to remind myself of daily.
In any case, I was trying to sleep (I am not anymore. I'm AWAKE!) and I was thinking, k, what's the minimum I can commit to forever. 1500 calories to maintain seems really low. What would I be ok with? So I think I'm okay with 1800 calories per day, and a commitment to 10k steps per day. 1800 calories could be approx 300-400 breakfast, 400-500 lunch, 300 snack, and 600-800 dinner. That sounds GREAT to me. Breakfast doesn't need to be too big, lunch can be nice and satisfying, a snack to get me through the afternoon, then nice delicious 700 calories of dinner, or dinner + desert. Or whatever, you know? Like I can budget between the 4 times I eat. That's how I eat right now (4x a day, 300-500 cals each, balancing out to 1500). And I'm committed to my steps. And running when my legs are up for it. So that will also add a couple (not many) calories.
I checked my fitbit and apparently on an average day like today (walked to work and home, sat around all day at work, and walked the dog, ending up with 11k steps), I would burn this much at my goal weights in any case, but if I start seeing 1800 as my calories burned on my Fitbit, for my current weight, I'll know that = my goal weight. It helps that fitbit says I'd have burnt 1800ish even if I was at 123 (possible goal weight) or even 115 (ultimate secret dream goal weight), but it also helps to have defined for myself what I think I'm able to do forever. 10k steps + 1800 cals. I can do that. It seems like a lot (and not enough cals) to some people, but for me, I know I can do that. An extra 300 calories in a day will be very helpful. That's like a whole extra meal, guys!
This probably wasn't the right place, but I'm awake and wanted to talk about it, so i's counting as a victory.