what is the advice you would give to a 20 year old, who has nothing going for him, and, in other terms is a fuck up, but wants to change?

I studied motivation and goal setting, so here is some general advice that you can apply no matter the specifics of your situation:

1) Set clear and obtainable long-term goals. Do not set the bar too high! Contrary to popular belief, setting very high goals does not make people more successful. In fact, setting the bar too high often leads to a lack of motivation and even depression. In addition, don't overwhelm yourself by picking too many long-term goals. Ideally you would have just one to start with.

2) Once you have a clear goal in mind, set specific short-term goals in order to help you reach your long-term goals. For instance, if I'm setting a long-term career goal, then my intermediate goals might be to gain specific skills.

3) Next, get even more specific and set DAILY goals in order to help you reach your intermediate goals. Having a day planner is a good idea. And once again, do not overload yourself by planning too much for one day! Take into account how long it takes you to perform certain tasks (like reading). It's a great idea to start small and then slowly increase your daily workload. This helps you not fall behind and lose motivation and also helps you form habits.

4) Make sure that you mix work and play! Burn out is very real and very common. Make sure you set aside time in your daily schedule to relax (every single day should include a little free time).

5) Try not to think ahead to how much you have left to do. When it comes to goal setting, thinking ahead tends to make people lose motivation. So literally just take it a day at a time and celebrate those little wins.

6) Don't sweat it if you don't do as much as you planned to. People have a bad habit of trying to "catch up" to their workload. For example, if I planned to read 20 pages of a textbook but only read 15, I might plan to read 25 pages tomorrow to "catch up". DON'T DO THAT! Instead, think about what made you not reach your daily goal and try to address that issue (maybe you need to go to a quiet place with fewer distractions, or maybe you need to not try to read all 20 pages at once, OR maybe 20 pages is just too many for one day so you might set your goal at 15 pages a day, though this should come after you try to address other potential causes). But whatever you do, don't increase your daily goal if you fall behind.

7) Finally, I recommend you look up more methods/tips for effectively setting and reaching goals. Goals are usually not reached because we either set our goals too high or because we lose motivation in the process. But there are some great techniques like the ones I mentioned for helping people maintain motivation so they can keep making progress.

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