My first day on my high school soccer team our coach told us to be at the field at 9pm and to bring candles. Weird flex but ok. We show up with our candles, all 20 of us, and he takes us to the middle of the field and lights his candle. "This candle represents my joy," he said. He told the girls closest to him to light their candles with his. "Take some of my joy, and share it." We did so until all our candles were lit, and then he told the team captains to blow out our candles. "Now you two hold up your candles. Look, all of you. Are they any brighter? No. Blowing out someone's candle doesn't make yours brighter. Destroying someone's joy doesn't make you happier. You have no right to destroy someone's joy. And nobody can blow out your candle but you." It's stuck with me all my life. He was mean and nobody liked him, but nevertheless, he taught us a valuable lesson, and especially in today's world we could all use it.

So the top rule of my life is this: "Don't blow out someone else's candle; it doesn't make yours brighter. And never let them blow out yours."