I get paid very well. My hobbies also provide me significant income. My income is in the hundreds of thousands per year now. Yet, my job nearly works me nearly to death in terms of hours. My hobbies are sometimes time sensitive so can cause extreme stress if neglected, but are part of my "success" no less. I have a family I am responsible for and other normal things. But juggling these things often feels like a massive house of cards.

In terms if material possessions, I will never want something I can't have, to a degree. But, the stress of trying to keep up with everything that allows me to have this "freedom" wears me quite thin to the point of often being "unhappy". I'm frequently tired enough to not know where I am, or what day it is. I'm usually just focused on what's at hand and do not have capacity for much else.

I grew up poor and that was terrible. I don't miss going to bed hungry, or wishing I could afford to go to movies with friends, simple luxuries even. Now I am well off and it is exhausting for completely different reasons a younger me wouldn't have understood or thought of. But I am afraid of slipping back into being "less fortunate".

Friends and family who know me have no pity for me. They say I have money and a successful career, a good family, and I should be happy. It's difficult to feel sad and tired, but have people call these things out any time I reach for help.

I'm on reddit in a meeting right now. My day has several hours left and after about 5 hours of sleep the cycle will repeat.