What did i probably miss in a movie?

it's better than the alternative, which would have been that the camera man was in the throes of sexual ecstasy imagining Robin Williams' wife trumpeting a majestic chorus out of her anus, which is probably where I would have been, even today I'm glad my female friends don't usually fart in public because if I heard that my eyes would glaze over, my brow would furrow, my jaw would slacken, and I'd have to dash off to the nearest women's restroom to perch on a toilet and listen to the sounds of multiple sets of glorious female bowels evacuating gracefully with the function of a well-oiled machine.

It is hard for a person like me with such diverse and passionate sexual tastes to function in society while maintaining a mask of normality, but to me it's a good thing that women farting is somewhat taboo because I wouldn't be able to get ANYTHING done if all of the beautiful women in the world around me conducted their business with the carefree libertine attitude towards farts that is present only in intimate relationships.

One of my earliest sexual experiences was at the tender age of 11, where a boy can orgasm without producing cum and his most distinct fap material is the childbirth section of the growth and development textbook that shows a gigantic dilated cervix and it's so alien but somehow so beautiful that you can't get that slimy, horrific thing out of your mind and you end up having to leave sex ed to go masturbate. anyway I was at my friend's house, and he had an older sister of about 14 or 15, and we were all clustered in his family room watching a movie (Kindergarden Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger) and about halfway through, during a quiet moment, there was a distinct and crisp "Poot" from the area next to me. I glanced over instinctively ready to laugh at my friend, but he was looking at his SISTER, who had a mortified expression on her face. In the moment, gazing upon that beautiful maiden with a look of shock on her face, I became more arouse than I had ever been my entire life. It was the combination of her innocence and her mortification that made my tiny 11 year old cock harder than a diamond. I can still imagine the color rushing to her face and the earthy fecal smell emanating from her. I haven't looked back since.

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