I dated a guy (A) I thought I liked, I let him wreck my car, I let him spiral down with me in his arms, I let him use me for more than one way, but I somehow always caught his eyes and saw his smile and everything somehow seemed okay. He was not the one...

I met another guy (M) and he was none the less my type, oddly similar to A, my friends said not to go for it because he was too much like A. A would disappear without a word for days, A never wanted to see me alone, we always had to be with his friends and if we were alone we weren't sober, we went on dates and they nice in the moment but was uneventful and often boring no matter what it was. A's downfall was his confidence he was so fucking confident I was afraid he would convince me to walk off the world with him and my biggest regret is I totally would follow him to the ends. Me and M were talking for about a week, he got along with my best friend, enjoyed hanging out with my friends, listened to all my worries and even held my hand and helped walk me through them, all great things A never put effort in. Our first date we just got off work, exhausted and tired, I said I would follow him anywhere he wanted to take me, I know I learn my lessons quickly, but I ended up following him to the empty Menards parking lot. We sat alone in the complete darkness for 45 minutes overlooking the city lights, and I actually enjoyed my time and often look back at that moment with a smile. I can't tell you what your healthy relationship looks like I can only tell you what my unhealthy relationship looked like. You don't have to be confident to love someone, you just have to trust that they will love you as much as you love them. Don't be afraid to set boundaries, A crossed boundaries like they were stepping stones, M had never asked why they have been set but I do know he respects and listens to my requests. A really wasn't a bad guy, I have countless amazing stories about that guy but I shouldn't have to defend his shitty actions, something I've never had to deal with M. A healthy relationship isn't dull and overshadowed, it's comforting and relieving, you shouldn't feel exhausted and overworked In a relationship.