So this boy who liked me for four years, right. He was nice to me every day, he became friends with me and was really well intended. But he got super clingy and eventually it turned into creepy stalker level obsession and anger when I didn't reply immediately and all that kind of thing.

What I should have done was very firmly told him I'm not interested and ceased association with him. Would have hurt him a little, sure, but it wouldn't have tortured him like I did.

In my naivety I didn't realise he was mentally ill, and seriously so. I just thought he was creepy, and so I began to hate him, and got desperate to get rid of him. He did all these things for me and I took and took and never gave anything back, thinking he would realise his efforts were unappreciated.

He didn't. So I decided I would break his heart completely and hope to god that he would hate me enough to leave me alone. A month of seduction, I then hooked up with him, and three days later told him I literally just took advantage of him and said I was just bored, I was never interested. And told him the month of feigning interest was just to get in his pants, I didn't mean a single word I said.

Well he attacked me (rightly so, in a way, I had just manipulated and hurt a person. Plus he was clearly mentally ill and I was that fucking blind to it, seriously, I should have gotten him help). And then he attempted suicide.

He got help. And never did he rat on me that my manipulation of his emotions was the source of his suicide attempt. I feel guilty every day for deliberately hurting the guy to try and get him to leave me alone, rather than being up front and minimising the harm I did to him.

So yeah, I fucked up pretty bad. I can say I acted on fear but really, there are better ways of going about things.