What dont you like about your parent's religion?

Thank you for your sincere questions, my child. There is some debate on this issue. The Orthodox schism of the LDCA would say that only a white goat born on the sixth day of the sixth month is an acceptable propitiation. We in the more liberal Reformed congregations accept any member of the Capra genus of animals - "those with hath horned skulls, and which hath four-chambered stomachs, which continually do chew the cud" (Nec. 45:132)

In my opinion it is extremely narrow-minded to only accept a specific kind of goat-sacrifice, when there are so many species of goat to choose from. As we in our sect like to say, "As long as it's a goat, it's good to go!" (Pardon a little Reformed humor!)

But beyond that, if anyone offers anything other than a goat at the Summoning, he is condemned to writhe in a boiling sea of brimstone for ten-thousand years. I mean, you have to draw the line somewhere, right? If you start offering, say, Shetlands at the Summoning, what's next? Eating the raw liver of the heifer without first invoking the name of Marduk? I mean, really, that's where we are headed if we don't take these things seriously. It's a slippery slope my friend. A slippery slope.

So if I were you, I would keep my Shetlands away from the summoning ritual and save them for the annual purification circle.

/r/AskReddit Thread Parent