What do you genuinely think happens after you die?

Your blood flow stops & begins to coagulate, allowing rigor mortis to set in. If undergoing autopsy, your corpse will be inspected, cut open, all organs removed for inspection, digestive contents analyzed, blood analyzed, & biopsies may be performed. When satisfactory to do so, you'll then be sent to a mortician who will prepare your body for your funeral. If so elected, you can choose to have a couple huge needles jabbed into your body, to drain you of your fluids. Then you're pumped full of a strong, toxic preserving agent such as formaldehyde, & your eyelids & lips are sewn shut. Then your naked cadaver finally has clothes put on it for the first time since you were wheeled away from where your corpse was found. Then someone puts makeup on you because formaldehyde isn't going to change discoloration, & people would vomit if they looked down into your casket to pay their respects one last time & saw you were a grayish green with blue/black rivers of veins snaking & webbing across your flesh. Then this mask-wearing chemical recreation of you (your body after funeral prep) is wheeled out in front of your friends & relatives, where people will tell stories about how great you were & how much you'll be missed. A line will form & one by one, people will say something nice, or stare in sorrow, or put something that has sentimental value into your container/casket. You're then wheeled/driven/carried to your burial/cremation location. Depending on whether you've chosen to buy or rent your casket (they put you in a box inside an otherwise expensive casket that you rent for the day - like a rental death tuxedo- but you don't physically contact the expensive casket, so you don't taint it with your cadaver juices, so the casket can be reused), you will either be cremated or buried, or you & your interior box will be removed from the rental casket & you will be burned or buried. If burned, you'll be scorched & charred until you're mostly ash with a few little bony bits & any metals that were in the body. Those metals are sifted out then "disposed of" by the crematorium via donation or sale, & your ashes are poured & sealed into a container & given to whoever should have the responsibility of handing you down from person to person until some great-great-grandkid has no idea who you are & gives you to a thrift store, just thinking you're a really heavy decorative urn - not a legitimate one. Or, should you decide to pollute the air upon your demise as your final hurrah, you can have your relatives argue over who wants to incur the expense of having to travel to wherever you want your ashes cast before someone finally agrees to it, gets around to finally doing it almost 5 years later, then tells everyone else that it was a truly magical experience. If you opt to be buried, tour body will eventually decompose. Your skin will dry & shrivel, giving your hair & nails the appearance of continuing to grow. As your gums shrivel, your teeth appear elongated. Your drying, shriveling skin begins to wear off & peel off your body. The weight of the soil on the coffin causes it to buckle under pressure, allowing water to seep in, as well as possibly allowing access to worms & other creatures. If you hadn't had your body pumped full of formaldehyde, you could be contributing to the circle of life - instead you're just toxic goo slowly dripping off bones like the juices dripping off a rotisserie chicken until you're nothing but a skeleton playing dress up in clothes other people thought you liked or thought would look good on you. Several centuries later, some real estate investor is going to clear the land for a building & discover a cemetery where you are, & all project construction will stop while they try to determine just where the hell you all came from, why you're here, & who you are since most of the headstones had crumbled into nothingness. You'll be given the temporary name "H22" due to your location. They'll comb records & finally discover the error & call you by your name again - but they read the map upside down, so you will now forever be referred to as "Fritz Gunter Shustropf." Fritz Gunter, unfortunately, was not a good person, & people will make all kinds of jokes & jibes at you when your remains go on display. Eventually, public interest will wear thin, & your bones will be removed from the display, labeled, placed into a box,, labeled again, & will be filed away with other bones from other dig sites.

/r/AskReddit Thread