Fuck.
This one time a few years ago, I was in a horrible mental state. I was dissociating and extremely suicidal. Like I would be in traffic and very loosely be thinking "if that truck were to hit me, that'd be okay, I think." I was teetering between being flippant about death, to spiraling out if control because nothing felt real. I had waited weeks to see my therapist. When the day finally arrived, I had slept in a little bit. So of course in my unstable state of mind, I panicked, called the office crying and begging for them not to cancel my appointment and that I was on my way. The dude on the line laughed a little bit. He was probably not making fun of me, he just thought I was "being silly," or something. I fucking screamed at him. I don't remember what I said, but it was nasty. He just stayed silent and I hung up the phone.
So I get to the office, and they want a copay. I didn't have one at the time and I knew that. They were so god damn adamant about 13 dollars that I snapped. I was broke, like 4 dollars in my bank account broke. I started crying again, and pleading with the woman who was "helping" me to just bill me (even though I so god damn did not have a fucking copay, the bitch) but no, I "needed" to pay it or I couldn't see the doctor. It was a complete power struggle.
So in my panicked state, I accidentally drop my purse and the contents fly everywhere. I'm sobbing, on the floor picking up all my stuff while this woman is demanding I give her the 13 dollars. They called me into the office, and as they did I told my doctor that "I hate your fucking staff," and then he points his finger in my face, then at the door, and goes "get the fuck out of my office, bitch." This office was notorious for over charging for services that hadn't even been rendered, so I said "fine, I'll leave, don't you dare charge me for a session that I didn't recieve."
You know what this piece of shit said to me? He says "OH, I'm gonna charge you for EVERYTHING." With a smirk on his face like a fucking super villain.
So, I did what any normal completely unstable person would do. I spit in his face. And then I swiped a HUGE stack of paperwork off of their reception counter. Shit went everywhere. I left. I went to my car, and I cried. I eventually went to the hospital later that day.
So many people were in that office seeing this happen. I was so embarrassed and mortified. It really made me want to die just that much more. Later on I called and apologized to the woman I screamed at, and she was really nice about it. I'm never, ever going to forget that experience.
For months I would think about it and it would make me sick to my stomach.