This is a repost from another ask reddit thread. Guess I am keeping this throwaway to repost this shit:
I was watching a show that dealt with repressed memories when I was in my early teens and wondered aloud "I wonder if I have any repressed memories." My mom just glanced at me with a weird look.
Later that night she told me my older brother molested me when I was 3 years old. Really fucking weird. Never had a memory of it, but whatever, my mom told me so it must be right. Touched off a whole bunch of weird thoughts, guilt, wondering if I had become tainted, turn into a molester too (as I thought at the time all males who were molested became child molesters), went to see a psychologist for awhile. It became part of my identity.
When I was 17 my mom told me my little brother was molested at age three as well, plus he was molested at age 12 by the same older brother. I freaked out on my mom at that point, asked how she could let him babysit us all the time, be alone around him, what was she thinking? I felt really bad then because I kind of watched over my little brother. We were much closer in age than our older brother. Relationship with older brother became very strained, somewhat culminating with a fistfight at age 16.
Moved away from home just after age 18. Did not speak to older brother for ~15 years. Mom becomes increasingly erratic to the point that she accuses little brother and I of incestuous thoughts about her. Make boundaries with her. Discuss vague things about abuse with little brother, but don't dig deep, as getting molested is obviously a way bigger deal for him than for me. Mom still very erratic. Have to uninvite her to my wedding (ouch). Find out she has several mental health diagnoses including PTSD and Schizoaffective disorder as her mental health continues to decline. Seems to stem from her own (verified) abuse when she was 3 years old.
Fast forward a few years. Mom comes to my home unannounced across the country from her home. Wife and daughters stay at MIL's. Refused to meet her anywhere that is not public. She is picked up by police and taken to hospital on several occasions due to erratic behavior. Finally involuntarily admitted. Taken to regional mental health care facility. Little brother keeps wanting me to talk to older brother. I can't forgive him for what he did to little brother. Finally talk with little brother. He tells me he doesn't believe he was abused by older brother. I was like "WTF you were twelve" he was like "wtf are you talking about? She told me I was 3 years old. I just didn't want to push you too hard because I didn't know if you were actually abused or not." Told my brother what she told me about him. He said all of it was false.
I went home and cried a very long time. I am ashamed it took me a few days to get up the nerve to call my older brother who I had not talked to for 15 years and apologize for not letting him into my life. 100% convinced I was not abused. I suspect my mother projected her fears, repressed emotions, and her experience with being abused onto me and little brother. Revelation was about 9 months ago.
TL;DR: Mom was abused as a kid so thought her oldest must be abusing her younger kids.