so,

house party at a mates house, it upper sixth form year (seniors at school) and its a classic end of year party, lots of really drunk teenagers, smoking, music etc. the guy who's party it is is pretty wealthy, he has a bungalow at the end of his grounds and this is where the party is.

one of the lads, T , decides he's gonna drive home, obviously we stop him and hide his keys. we all carry on and he is put to bed. fast forward about an hour and its down to about twenty people still up and going, mostly sat around and on a giant L shaped sofa in the lounge in front of the sofa is a really big coffee table all is opposite a set of patio doors looking out into the driveway area (blinds are closed) we sit there, having a wonderful time.

through the closed patio doors comes T, in his van, the double pain glass doors explode, the frame buckles and collapses, the blinds are ripped down and the van comes into the lounge, slamming into the coffee table, which in turn slams into the sofa, which all slide backwards across the room, people sat around the sofa all jumped away, those sat on it got a neat little ride.

so, now we are sat in silence, halfway across the room from where we where but a moment ago, with T slumped across the wheel of his van and a pile of glass covering the front of said van, and a lot of the surrounding area (seriously, I know it was double pane, but dam there was a lot of glass), if anyone had not had their legs up on the table I'm convinced they would have lost them.

so, we get up, everybody is in shcok, we get T out of the van and he is fine, doesn't even really know whats going on. Knowing that we have to inform the house owner I take him across the open plan lounge and push him into the room with the owner sleeping in.

'you have to tell him what youve done man, he's gonna have to tell his parents, you fucked up mate'

he slurs his understanding and gets across to the bed, slumps onto it and starts crawling awkwardly over to the guy sleeping (lets call him M)

as he gets over him and starts to rock him awake

'M.....M... wake up man, wake up....

m stirs

M.... wake up man, I'm sorry dude, I've fucked up. I've just crashed my BLEEEEAAREAGH' and pukes all over M as he is waking up.

M jumps up, covered in puke and runs out the door, past me into the bathroom.

cue a couple of minutes of showering.

M comes out, toweling his head, as he comes out the bathroom door he looks over my shoulder into the lounge and see's the problem.

M throws a massive shit-fit (understandable) and runs off to get his ex-para/london geezer dad (one of the few people I have met in my life I am fully scared by, one of those 'nice enough but never cross him types')

the rest of the evening consisted of sitting in the (now very cold and open air) lounge listening to the tirade of abuse from M's dad to T, for a full half hour.

needless to say, party was over. bed time.

perhaps not so funny at the time very funny now, but I tell this story at every opportunity and it always gets a good response.

I dont think I'll every top this one.