I often read people describing it like a regular happy person that has 1 thing wrong with them and thats depression and its somehow sitting on top of your regular self and then you do something about it and you go back to your normal self. Thats not how it works, that shit is a part of you, it makes you think certain ways, it makes you become a different person, and you prpbably will come out of it (if you do) another person than you were before. It seeps into you.

Everybody knows what feeling happy feels like but you can mistake depression for a way of thinking or behaving for a long time

Idk if i describe it well but that shit is insidious