Thanks again for talking to me. I really do feel like I just need a hug a lot of the time, but it can be really difficult to open up to people about how I feel. I used to have a really close friend that I could talk to but we had a falling out at the beginning of the year and while I have other friends, I don't REALLY feel like I have anyone to really talk to. It was a really difficult time for me, especially starting out highschool without my best friend beside me. The worst part was feeling like I had nobody to talk to about what goes on. I really do want someone to talk to, but being 15 it just isn't that easy. I know that people would help me, but I really can't bring myself to ask. I go to a really competitive school where I am provided with amazing opportunities and surrounded by some really smart people. It seems like they all come from these perfect families, and though I know they're flawed, I can't help but feel like I missing out on a huge chunk of growing up. When reading you message, I actually started to cry again. Feeling like I have people to talk to, even if they're "internet friends" helps a lot. I don't feel like I an continue being this "strong person".

I try and look forward to the summer and just the rest of my life in general, but sometimes it really gets to me. I don't feel like anyone in my family is on my team. I'm close with my mom, and when we're alone together it's great. She's honestly my role model, and one of the reasons I want to be strong. She worked her way up from very little to being really successful. Whenever my dad lashes out, she acts like she's on my side but does nothing to stop it. I'm starting to see my brother turning into my dad and it's really scaring me. My brother has been one of my best friends for a long time, he's 18 and going to college soon and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do without him. He's the type that has a thousand friends and got straight A's without trying. My brother is generally a chill person, but when he gets angry, he really gets angry. I'm really hoping that once he leaves he'll cool down and see that acting like my dad is not the way to go. In terms of my dad, I've just started avoiding him. I realize that dealing with him takes up so much energy, and if I don't engage I'll ultimately be happier. Thanks again for talking to me. Sometimes I just feel really alone and finding this community has done wonders in keeping me sane throughout high school.