I had a slutty phase last summer. This is a collection of stories.

1: The Whore's Folly: Throughout the summer, the best tool I used was Tinder. After matching with this tatted, blue-eyed, fucked-up-emotionally guy, (We'll call him T) I thought nothing of it until he said hello a few days later. We talked, and talked, and talked some more until we decided to hang out one night. He worked back shifts so he was a night owl. Nice. Mysterious. Good shit. Hindsight is 20/20 and I'm impressed I didn't get stabbed at least once. So he comes to pick me up around 11:30. We drive and drive and drive around some more, talking the whole time. We park at a look off in the middle of the night where we decide to talk there some more. Things progressed, but alas. No condom. "Shit," we said. Having had my engines in full gear ready to receive that dick I insisted we make a stop at the convenience store. It's now 2:30 at this point and the lookoff is 20 minutes out of town. To compensate, road head was given. I am not ashamed. So we drive back only to have a cop drive in behind us just as we were getting down to it. He questioned us briefly but T was smooth, so he let us go. We're fucking determined, so we drive until we find some nice secluded train tracks. Not gonna lie guys, for having sex in the back of someone's car it was pretty fantastic. Except for when he thrusted a little too hard and nearly put my head through the back right window. I bruised, obviously, but I was a trooper. We continued, finished, cleaned up. 4:30. Shit. Sun's gonna come up soon. He drove me back to my place down the street and like a dumbass I walked through the front door. My dogs lost their goddamn minds and I walk in the livingroom, sex hair, bruised and skirt all messy to find my dearest auntie sitting in the livingroom waiting for me.

TLDR: had sex, aunt doesn't look at me the same way anymore.

2 The Crossdresser: This, my friends, was BY FAR the worst tinder date I have ever had the displeasure of experiencing. Dude was in the military, an intellectual, bad a deep voice. Good shit. Until we actually met physically. He ended up being a miserable douche nugget. We knocked heads making out and he accused me of being too nervous. We walk to go get food and on the way there he asks me what I would do if I caught him wearing women's clothing. "Honestly, if that's what you're into, do you but i think you should communicate it to me first." We got dinner and it was awkward, silent, and at one point I almost choked on my food. Whatever. This doesn't contend to what comes up next. So he says he's tired (he travelled up for the weekend I should have mentioned, do not do this for a first date I beg you) so I let him go for a nap. I'm skyping with someone else while he's sleeping and he woke up. He then comes out of my bedroom wearing my clothes. I naturally shit bricks cause this is not a situation I have dealt with before. He ended up playing it off as being half asleep. By this time I had boarded the nope train and needed to concoct some sort of idea to get him the fuck out of there. At the end of the date I mentioned that I wasn't sure this was gonna work and we parted ways. Haven't spoken to him since. He has a girlfriend now and I don't know how.

TLDR: Don't have a first date over a weekend. Just don't.

3: The Fuck-it List: At this point I had long advanced into my slutdom. I made a list of all the different types of people I would like to sleep with, and different locations I would like to screw in. Basically, so I could have stories to tell like those above. The Fuck-It List was compromised of stereotypes more-so than jobs. Ended up dating "The IT Guy".