I understand this entirely bc I have been there and it's not a good place to be. I was never insecure until I was in a position where I didn't feel seen or heard. No one can make us insecure but because I chose to stay in an environment that was toxic (just as you are/or have been) we then lose ourselves because it's not a place we can be ourselves or thrive.

The thing to focus on is YOU. Who knows wth works for other people in their relationship or whether or not we think what they do is sustainable or not. My ex's bff who's married looks happy. At least that's the way she makes it seem like on social (which btw I removed myself from)...all I know is that THAT isn't what I want in a partner. We have to accept that we cannot effectively convince others of things we value in relationships...things we find important. We have to be brave enough to say, WE'RE NOT COMPATIBLE. Just bc you love someone doesn't mean they're right for you.

You poured your heart into your relationship...and you tried really hard to do the right things...but she isn't the right person. Once you accept that you two were incompatible, it'll be easier to move on...