20 plus years of friendship gone because I dared ask her to please give me the benefit of the doubt when we are chatting. She is someone that is super quick to anger and take things the wrong way. I was constantly worrying that what I said would be taken wrong and piss her off, it happened a lot and had been increasing in frequency. It was making me insanely anxious. Every single interaction I was on high alert, walking on eggshells. I could not take it anymore. So I asked her to just please assume I have no bad intent, because I don't/didn't.
Well that was apparently too much. She tried to flip everything around and gaslight me into thinking I was the one that took everything wrong. And then went on a huge long tirade about everything she hates about me (I never said one negative thing about her in our interaction). She brought up shit I said in high school! Stuff I don't remember saying and even if I did, I was a fucking kid. We are in our 30s now. I couldn't believe it. Told me I was supportive enough of black lives matter, lol. I support it, I vote for people that support policies that should help things, wtf else am I supposed to do? I have no damn political power lol.
After all of that she went on some rant about how terrible her life was in college, shitty things that happened to her and how it made her suicidal for years. We had been "best friends" for 20 plus years and she never told me any of that. Even after my deep bout of depression and suicidal thoughts over the past few years that I have been very open about. Was any of it true? Who knows? I'm not even sure what her angle was there. Like tell me how much she hates me, all my faults, how bad of a person I am and then make me feel sorry for her? Like I'd just grovel after hearing a sob story?
Absolutely bonkers. I'm inclined to believe she has bpd, nearly everyone in her family has problems with mental health and personality disorders. I feel for her if she does, but there is absolutely no way I can ever reconcile with her after this. I thought the world of her and apparently I was just a convenient person to hang out with even if she had a very low opinion of me.