Im an ER doctor and as a part of my job I have to tell families that despite our best efforts a loved one has died or tell a patient that the mass we found on our imaging could be consistent with cancer.
A few things I’ve learned when delivering bad news.
Ask a person what they already know about a situation. You want to start explaining something from their position and not just assume that they’ll understand it from yours.
Be up front and clear. I can’t tel someone that a patient “didn’t do well”. I have to say they died. Not “he passed”. “He died.” As humans we’re trained to think that by not being blunt we’re helping, but we’re only helping ourselves in an attempt to avoid the harsh reality.
Help them with a plan to move forward. So the news is dropped, but what now? This is where preparation comes in. In the terms of cancer, it’s providing the next steps to reach a formal diagnosis. In the terms of death, its having them meet with the chaplain to make further arrangements and making yourself available.
I’m no pro, and every situation is different - but these are some pillars that have seemed to hold true.