My father used to scream at me and beat me and my mom was smothering and invasive.
They spent my childhood getting me all sorts of special help and trying different psychiatric medication. I acted pretty weird but my whole life was weird, at home my parents were abusing me and then at school the teachers thought I was legitimately retarded, the other kids picked on me mercilessly. There were a few years that they had me so amped up on stimulants that I scratched sores all over my body, my dad would from time to time yell at me for this behavior. I had no idea why I was doing it until I was an adult and saw a crackhead on tv doing the same thing. They never admitted they knew why.
Later for acting out they had me locked away in a nuthouse for awhile where the workers tied me to a bed for a day and had me pissing all over myself. I never speak of this, not in years. Once I mentioned it to my mother and she said she didn't know what else to do because she thought I was on drugs.
I won't lie I was combative and probably was acting pretty strange.
I finally got away from them and joined the military. I did alright and then went to school and became a successful and almost normal person. Just a few years away from mom and dad and I stopped wondering if I was a freak of nature.
They still try to give me life advice or help me with things and I tell then over and over again they were toxic as fuck and if they want to have a relationship with me it's not going to be one where they can pretend they're normal parents, Be hands off I don't want your help or advice, not about kids, retirement, buying a home, drugs, happiness, or god. I want to come to christmas exchange gifts and eat turkey without any unwanted influence from the people who ruined the first years of my life. Things like this make them cry when I say it so it hurts but not enough to keep them from telling me I should save more money or not smoke cigarettes (I don't even smoke)
I just can't stand it if they even hint that they know better about any aspect of my life, I can get along with them until the moment it happens and I have to leave. My mom can send me a facebook message telling me what she thinks I should be doing, on any subject reallyand it's enough to leave me grinding my teeth for days.
Other than straining relationships with the rest of my family I can't really think of a single way my life wouldn't be better off without them. My siblings know. My parents complain that we treat them like they're morons, but really I trust their judgement like I would a little kids.
Yes you were both horrible and I only talk to you so that I don't have regrets I can't undo after you die and so that my kids can have grandparents so stop making it so hard you fucks.