So, lots of Jewish holidays on Friday nights, right? Stupid me tells my retail job in high school that I need them off (so I don’t have to work Friday nights). I am not Jewish, I was just a shitty high school kid that wanted Friday nights off. Turns out my manager is enthusiastically Jewish. So, I spent ~a year pretending to be Jewish, and hours researching things like the Passover meal and Rosh Hashanah celebrations. She’d ask me who my parents were, so then I had to say we moved here from away (we didn’t). When she tried to start setting me up with her friends’ sons, I had to quit.

No more lies after that. But, the good news is I learned a lot about Judaism. Shalom.