Heya -

Thanks for your reply and even spending as much time on this as you have.

I'm a pretty complicated guy who's 43 and lived quite a life - Europe, Hawaii, living in lots of places outside the US where I was born. I've had some really demented experiences (search my post history for 'abortion'. Talk about torture.

I always try to be the best person I can be - that's been something I've been for as long as I can remember. I don't hurt people on purpose, and work to make win-win situations. But kindness can be taken for weakness, especially when you're in a society that is more about the macho than the intellectual....It's definitely jaded me. I certainly won't deny it. I'm quick to be nice to people and am pretty bad at recognizing the red flags, only to find myself bewildered when I find my girlfriend fawning all over our yoga teacher in front of me....Little surprises like that will wear a brother down.

I wish I didn't feel like that, but I do...But I'm in therapy for the damage I went through being a total outcast in Hawaii (8 years!) and am embracing my decision to be "Forever Alone" as they say. So, chip or no chip, I aint emotionally available. But I wish I had no chip.

The fetishizing women is kinda deeper than the typical "ohh asian chick...boner"...I just never had much exposure to them in Europe, and when I moved to HI, I just found myself enamored with the Asian look and style. I mean, my interest in them goes beyond the exotic physical aspect. So, I don't just chase every Asian girl around or stare or catcall...And I don't stereotype them sexually...I know it sounds lame and ridiculous, but I really am truly just melted by an Asian girl's smile. Plus, I'm into the culture and especially the Japanese punk scene (Shonen Knife, Lolita No. 18, Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss her)

Enough of my novel. Thanks again for your reply...I'm the furthest thing from a bad guy - I'm just bitter, I suppose, but aside from the odd bitching session, it doesn't affect the respect and politeness I have toward everyone, although I approach cautiously now.

Have an awesome night/day/afternoon/early evening/late morning/mid-afternoon....Hehehehe time zones