Parents had me when they were fairly young and while they weren’t terrible parents or abusive, I feel like I was left to fend for myself because I was “gifted” while they coddled my younger brother. I was severely anxious (and, later, depressed) and I don’t know that they really fully understood that or what to do with it. My problems were abstract and subtle, but if my brother got a C on a test that was something they could sit down at the kitchen table and hammer out. I turned to drugs and alcohol in my late teens and feel like my parents made it about themselves; how I was such a nightmare to deal with at that age. But it’s just... following my parents rule book wasn’t working so I had to try something else. They’ve come around to my mental health struggles somewhat but to this day I hold some resentment and don’t really feel close to anyone in my family. It’s hard to understand the importance people place on family for me; It feels like an obligation to me and I feel guilty about it. At 30 years old, I just show up to holidays and go through the motions and that is about it.