Thank you for the comment.

Not having any withdraw symptoms outside of some vivid dreams. My issue isn't of physical dependence (i know what that's like from a back injury and getting off of Tramadol. sweats, chills, etc. beat that over 2 years ago after bring prescribed the pills for a year after a climbing accident). The addiction isn't to the herb as much as the feeling of release I get immediately after smoking. It helped me calm down at the end of a day. The best way i can describe how it felt to me is relating it to this:

• long day at work, extremely stressful

• walk in the back door of the house, take a seat on the couch, and take a deep, cleansing breath

• that feeling you get of relaxation and leaving the stress of the day behind... that's what i got from herb. I felt it helped me "process" my day.

Regardless, i knew it was a problem when i started hiding it from my wife and looking forward to it throughout the day. If it wasn't an issue, then why was i hiding it? If it wasn't a problem, then why did i feel i "needed it" to calm down after a day at work? That's what drove me to finally cut the cord. It isn't the physical side or that the withdraw symptoms were an issue. It got to the point where i didn't enjoy smoking anymore. I felt more disgusted that this stupid plant had control over me and I felt a NEED for it. That disgusts me, and that's the feeling that drives me to walk away.

I'm not having any trouble with not smoking. I'm having trouble breaking the HABIT of smoking. 13 years of doing something is not an easy habit to stop.

I'm a grown ass man with a job, a family, and responsibilities. I do not NEED anything but the love of my family. That's how I will beat this. That's how i DID beat this. Time to stay the course.