Well... Uh....

He really, REALLY acted like he had a crush on me while he was my TA. So much that my friends felt comfortable telling him I liked him, because they thought it was obviously reciprocal.

I didn't exactly get rejected, but the relationship would clearly be inappropriate and he made that clear. Kept flirting with me though...

Then he coincidentally showed up at my house one night. I was all drunk with my friends, and I talked about how much I'm in love with him. Only then did I find out via grapevine he was married, but didn't wear a ring. (they never did in their marriage.)

Ok, I can do "just friends."

That went on for awhile, but then his best friend started trying to hit me up. His best friend told me that Crush would only date Asian girls, plus Crush was married, so I felt like it would never work. I thought this might have been my only way to spend time around Crush, so I started dating Friend. I thought I would get over Crush. I really did. Things like that never last right?

Then it turned our Crush was going through a divorce, didn't know how to talk about it, was trying to keep me on the backburner, and was very hurt by my actions.

I'll spare you details, but it just kept getting worse. I was trying to help Crush through his divorce and stuff. Friend ended up being pretty abusive, actually. And Crush was always right there, just out of reach.

Anyway, all the weirdness and stress and abusiveness came to a head when I wrote a little love song for him and did some other artistic stuff and posted it where he could see it.

He never spoke to me again.

I'm still dating Friend as of now.

Friend and Crush work together. They even share an office.

God, it's weird. I just want it to end. I never should have talked to Crush when he showed up at my house or made his bizarre little advances, and I never should have dated Friend.

I somehow became convinced that deep down Crush is a good guy and cares about me but it's not true. I can type that, and it doesn't change the way I feel about him. I can't rationalize it, but I know that I really do love that stupid jerk unconditionally. It doesn't feel good and I hope it ends sometime.

Oh by the way I became lactose intolerant over the course of these events, but I couldn't figure out what it was at first, so for a while I was hella gassy.

That didn't help matters.