What would you do in my situation? Muslim-Agnostic "friendship"

Ok here's the skinny. I met my husband online from another country. I was a non-denominational Christian and he was Atheist. I can't tell you that these situations don't work because that would be hypocritical of me. But I can say this situation is a hard one and you're both very young and if you aren't mentally and emotionally prepared for this then you're gonna have a difficult journey. Even if you're prepared, this is hard. And I don't say that lightly.

For starters, being in a relationship with someone with vastly differing ideas on thingd such as gay rights is not going to go well. You should want to be in a relationship with someone who is like-minded in their ideals and ethics, it'll save you a lot of heart ache. It's one thing to disagree on God vs No God, or even This God vs That God. People can get past that, I know from experience. But fundamental laws of the land, human rights, what is right and what is wrong, you need to be on the same level with. I'm not talking about voting for different politicians here, I mean what you Believe is Right and what he Believes is Wrong, it will cause so many rifts and fights and heart break. It might not seem like a big deal right now, sure you can get along with someone with differing opinions Now, but you shouldn't give up your ideals for romance, because he's certainly not going to give up his.

Now because of his religion, if you're serious about being in a relationship with him, you need to get him to lay it out straight for you what he expects from you as his partner, as a girlfriend, and possibly in the future as a wife. Will be expect you to convert? Conform? Likewise, lay out what you expect of him. Are you gonna require him to convert? Conform? What if he doesn't? What if you don't? Your families, and his in particular if they are very traditional, will probably have their influence on your relationship whether you like it or not. My best friend was heart broken after her boyfriend dumped her because his parents were racist and wouldn't allow it. What about your family?

And lastly, the long distance. That's hard. How much of this relationship is going to be taken seriously? I'm not saying it won't work on that account, but most people aren't prepared for how hard it really is. Between differing time zones, the money it would cost to visit, the heart ache when you leave... I've been there. And it was so hard. People always along me "how can you trust him? How do you know he's not cheating? You haven't seen him in months, he could be with someone else right now!" is maddening. Yes it feels nice to have someone flirt and tell you you're pretty and it feels like there is a connection, but you have to know what you want in a relationship before you go further. Are you committed to all the pitfalls of long distance? Is he? I don't know either of your situations but at that age I certainly couldn't afford a plane ticket to fly to a foreign country alone and meet someone for a possible romance.

I'm not trying to discourage you, but please think long and hard about it. It's no fun being practical, I know, but sometimes being practical and avoiding heart break is the better option. Sometimes "what if" gets us very excited, when really "oh god, what went wrong" is inevitable. I wish you the best of luck.

/r/askwomenadvice Thread