Objectively, I'm sure there are worse things, but this was pretty awful.

I was sitting at my computer desk, which was positioned in the corner of the room. The wall I was facing was the wall to the living room and the wall directly to the right had a sliding glass door. So I was directly in front of the glass door. The curtain was closed, but there was a little crack there on the edge of the glass. I heard a noise on the patio and here I am thinking it was a raccoon or something, so I immediately hit the light switch to the back porch and swing open the curtains with one motion. Staring back at me, six inches from my face, was some pervert's dick.