I am one of those people you are calling the bad friend. Before I go on, just remember you (random people reading) can disagree with me without downvoting me. I'm just trying to explain things from the other side.

It's not that I always talk about myself but it's more that I only initiate conversation if I have something to say and I assume that the other person will initiate conversation when they have something to say. I really dont like when people just message me to ask how I am doing. It puts me in a situation where I have to devote effort to create a conversation out of nothing at a time that doesn't suit me. Like they are bored and I am now their personal entertainer.

I classify these conversations as low priority and can easily get distracted or not reply (when messaging) to them if they are dragging on. It's possible that sometimes the other person had something important to say but didn't get to the point quickly enough before I lost interest or got distracted. I wont ask people how they are doing because I don't want people to do that to me, it's actually me being respectful of your personal time.

I understand your point of view but I think my point of view is rarely understood. For example, I hate when people make a fuss about my birthday.. I honestly dont like it.

When dealing with people like me, they get it and treat my birthday like any other day. When dealing with other people they refuse to believe that anyone wouldn't want a huge deal made out of their birthday. It doesn't matter what I say, they will go out of their way to make a big fuss over my birthday and tell everyone else about it. I cut them some slack because I know from their point of view it's how they show they care about you and they think they are doing something nice regardless what I tell them.

The problem is that when the opposite happens (when I treat someone elses birthday just like any other day) they get really upset. They don't cut me the same slack and say "It's annoying but it's just his way of respecting my personal space because that's how he likes his birthdays" it doesn't even cross their mind at all.. they dont even try and see things from my point of view they just instantly assume I'm an asshole because I did something they would never do.