What's the best job quitting story you can tell?

I took a part-time job doing Sales Admin/ Data Entry for a toy manufacturer. The "boss" in the States was a nice guy at first, but had no idea how to run Quickbooks. I accepted the job for "way more than what the other dude is paid" - his words, not ver batim, (which was embarrassingly really low for how long he has been with the company) but was justified by myself and the boss because of my experience with Quickbooks and because his other worker needed a lot of help. I took this job as a intermediary/ part-time gig but my boss made it seem like this was a career opportunity, despite making a huge deal out of what I asked for in compensation. I was capable of completing all of the work necessary in a fraction of the time and proved that I could save the company money in this way and still be able to keep my better paying gig to boot. I researched the company ahead of time and made this argument in my interview. The boss seemed upset that he would be paying me what was agreed but still hired me anyway.

After my 3rd week, the boss and his other admin left for a trade show, leaving me with a key to the office while they were gone. This news of needing me full time was sprung on me at the last moment (the Friday before they left for the show on the following Monday) so my hands were tied. I needed this steady income, which forced me to sacrifice my other gig that paid way better. (I couldn't find enough work to make this gig a full time venture).

The boss and other admin returned from the trade show, late that Thursday. I had been searching for a better opportunity and landed my dream job offer in the process; an actual career with salary, retirement, benefits, PTO/vaca, you name it. However, I'm not a dick and wanted to do the right thing and put in my two weeks notice, to which my new employer agreed was the right thing to do. My new job didn't start for another 4 weeks so I looked forward to a little break to recharge for the new endeavor (another decision that my employer thought was necessary).

Our office was really small so I wanted to give him a call to deliver the news while I was out on my lunch break. I felt this was the best way to break the news as to not make a huge deal out of it since we had a small office of 3 people and to let the boss process this while I was at lunch.
After I gave my two weeks notice, I said that I would be willing to train the next potential candidate and his current office worker with my knowledge/ tips. He then starts screaming and called me an asshole and that he couldn't believe that I was doing this to him even though I was giving him 2 weeks to replace me. He told me that today was my last day and I needed to return immediately and give him back his key to the office and to hear a few words from him. I told him that I had a feeling he would react in this fashion because he seemed to be intimidated by me from the start and decided to leave the office key under my keyboard before my break. This infuriated him to no end, based on his screaming tone.
Unbeknownst to him, our conversation ended with me pulling into my driveway and not to lunch. I lived kinda far away so he wouldn't have suspected I was running home to grab something to eat. His angry "UGH" was priceless.

/r/AskReddit Thread