I get the sentiment but this comes off as really redundant, and so it’s asshole-y. Either that or you’re socially awkward, which kind of matches your point perfectly.

The one you’re replying to is talking about going out of your way to trash talk and you’re talking about hurting someone behind their back. Publicly posting on Facebook is definitely more of an asshole move than complaining to a close friend of yours. And like you said, we’ve all had a golden moment to vent to a friend, where we totally might make rude comments about someone else.

Your realization totally makes sense and it’s interesting but I get a hipster smugness because it misses the connection with what these other guys are trying to say