What's in the universal bro code?

Shave all your body hair, no matter how hairy or not your are. Shave your hair to 1/4 of an inch, still use hair gel and spike the top. Wax and tweeze your face, fill in bald spots with matching mascara . Gold loop earrings mandatory or optional, denotes rank, both ears, little bro just started out, no earrings, mid rank bro, one earring, bro with girlfriend and a Camero. High ranking bro, usually one platinum earring. Own a Camero. Use dude and bro allot. Increase volume of normal speech to cover a 20ft to 30ft area, so everybody can hear you. Have skank at every dude get together, squeeze her ass, so all the dudes know your banging her, then bang her when bro loses interest, which is when bro loses visual contact of skank. As bros before ho's is bro rule 1, foundation of the broclamation of brodependence. Also, all muscles are for show, not function or strength, as the "illusion" of strength is enough for skanks, and bro fights are rarely more than " bro, do u know who I am or bro, do you know who I know...etc" or variations. Also the life span of a bro rarely survives moving out from home, that's why bros are barely ever home. Source, studying bros when encountered. Rarely met a bro past the age of 30, leading to theory they disappear or go instinct. Don't care enough to further research, mystery will remain unsolved.

/r/AskReddit Thread