I was in a long-distance relationship with a guy for two years. The first year was absolutely fine. He was charming, sweet, attentive, he cared and he listened. I was head over heels for him and would have done anything for him. Something fucked up the second year.

He began calling me at 4 in the morning stating how much he missed me and how lonely he was. He worked in the nightlife industry so his waking hours were different to mine. I was in my last year of high school, working towards my university career and end of the year exams. This kept going on for a while and I couldn't deal with it anymore since it was harming my waking pattern. I would fall asleep in class and pay little to no attention. I told him this and he stopped. A few weeks later he began to threaten with suicide, telling me no one cared about him and I was obviously interested in someone else which was never the case. I spent hours talking him out of things like jumping off a bridge or cutting his wrists. My social life disappeared since he didn't approve of me going out with friends, and if I was even a minute late from a dinner with friends, I was guilt tripped into the next month.

It began to get even worse. Everything became my fault. Any success I had was because of him or not as good as his were. He would always bring me down. He was the superior one in the relationship. He told me my mother was getting in the way of my growth and development of our relationship and I should cut her off. He tried to isolate me from my family, since they did nothing other than hate him. In reality my mother began to see the suffering he inflicted on me and tried calmly explaining the situation. I didn't listen to this of course, as a teenager you want to be right.

Verbal abuse became a thing. I would screw up and I'd bear the brunt of the abuse. I wasn't totally passive. I fought back, I called him out on his actions. It didn't really work.

Although these are all red lights it was so spread out I couldn't see this. I was blind to a now clearly toxic love that was only given when I did something right. I got out of the relationship and never spoke to him again.

I've developed depression and anxiety because of it, but it's helped me develop as a person. I no longer blindly believe other people and am more wary, but I found an amazing guy who knows and takes his time with me, giving me space and understanding my occasional doubts of his genuineness. He's a winner.