Mentally, I think I'm a bit above average, I had around a 130 IQ when tested in high school (not that that really means anything). I am very perceptive, a good problem solver, in control of my emotions .. all that good "brain stuff".. But physically, I have a ton of flaws. Some I have learned to hide and some I can't (without plastic surgery). So many little flaws piled on top of each other that make me different from everyone else. I see tons of people out in the world with their own "ordinary" flaws that many other people also have, and they can at least feel vaguely normal with. But so many of mine are "special" flaws that I have seen maybe 1-2 people with in my entire life. And when I see them it has always been horribly jarring and terrifying because I can see how much they stick out from the crowd, and become paranoid that I stick out just as badly, and so I try even harder to hide them. And I wonder if I am succeeding at all, or if I am just one of those people who's flaws everyone politely ignores because staring and pointing is rude. There are things I do to hide my flaws and appear as normal as possible, that I simply hate or grow very tired of, and people (family & friends) who are either used to my flaws, or I have successfully hidden them from, will give me well meaning advice to change things up, but I simply cant because then my flaws would be exposed to everyone. I mentioned the mental/IQ part before because before I learned how to hide my flaws, everyone, family included, treated me like I was somehow mentally deficient or "slow". I still remember how beyond shocked and amazed my mother was when I did very well on some standardized test and she must have finally realized I was actually not fully defective. If I don't successfully hide my flaws, this is how everyone treats me. When I was a kid, and still not fully aware of the need to hide my flaws, I would actually use this to my advantage and play dumb with chores so that I could just sit around watching tv and playing video games. I failed nearly my entire first semester of college because I hated almost all my classes and was too bored to show up, and when my parents found out and got angry I just broke down in tears (what else can you do, honestly?), and then they started crying and consoled me as if they thought I had some kind of other mental defect they had not been aware of.. when really I was just being a lazy entitled jackass and they should have thrown me out of the house.

But whatever, I just try to not let it swallow me up and go on with my life, no one likes someone who complains. And though I can't get anyone I want, I don't have too much trouble finding someone who is attracted to me... though when I do I always wonder what the hell is wrong with them.