The Dutch
Racial Characteristics
Tight-fisted windmill operators, this miniature breed is so ashamed of their own drug and sex addicted country that it refers to itself in a way that is literally impossible to link back to the hypodermic needle landfill that is the Netherlands. Being essentially homeless Germans, the Dutch settled in what can only be described as a swampy oceanic flood plain. Desperate for an identity other than the retarded cousins of the Germanic hordes, the Dutch were easily brainwashed by bronze age missionaries into accepting Jesus into their hearts. After their first read-through of the Bible, they became instantly terrified of another great flood, justifiably so since they literally have to look up to see the ocean. In their panic, the decided the best course of action was to build miniature arks that they could wear on their feet. Due to their obvious lack of creativity and intelligence, they called their ingenious inventions Klomps, after the sound they made while dragging their purposeless bodies back and forth from their corn-grinding windmill and cheese-making factories.
Good points: Plentiful tar heroin and hookers.
Proper forms of address: Cheese tits, Dyke, Dicksuckinflog, Marsh Nigger. Additionally, the proper description of a Dutch midget is a Minivan.
An anecdote illustrating something of the Dutch character:
Two Dutchmen met each other while walking through town.
"Hey Johan VandenFlabberflog, where are you klompping to?"
"Ah, back to the windmill to grind more corn for some reason. Where are you klompping to Vandy VanderVanvan?"
"I'm klomping down to the store to get some new klomps for the Kermis parade tomorrow. Are you going?"
You bet your klomps I am. Can't klomping wait!"
"That's klomptastic! I'll klomp you there!"
"Klompity klomp!"
"Yeah,man. Klompity klompin' klomp!"