Last night I was sitting at home taking a rest from smacking around Cruise Chaser. When I realize, "Damn, I haven't an internal release in like three weeks!" so I used my linkpearl to call around to all my "friends" and they were all busy with their Free Companies doing costume contests. Well damn.
I headed over to Waking Sand because I know Urianger has this freaky underground club scene going on and it would totally be worth getting in on the action so I teleport over to Ul'Dah and start walking to Vesper Bay. As soon as I showed up in the Aethryte plaza I was accosted by this shady looking lalafell wearing a purple hat with a feather in it. He started offering me these things he called Ceruleum Spitters and showed me pictures of scantily clad lalafell women. I just kind of step over him and continue on my way.
As I exit Ul'Dah on my way to Horizon I come across some peiste's attacking a bridge. It's kind of weird but whatever. I help the guards out repelling the attack. They thank me for my assistance and give me some paper seals for Maelstrom command, not sure why Ul'Dah guards have those, and 73 gil. Cool, whatever.
I keep walking to Vesper Bay and walk into the Waking Sand. I head over to Urianger to get access to the back room and that's when I noticed there were a lot of elezen and miqo'te men around. No women. I ask him, "Bro, what's up with all the men around? Are they waiting to get in with the women?" Urianger just shook his head and looked at me through his goggles with what I assume was a drug induced stare and said, "Thou must needs be confused about tonight's revelry. Tonight's activates presently only entice men of a certain persuasion." He's talking in his weird riddles again but right about that time I see an elezen and miqo'te man stumbling out from the back room with the elezen grabbing the miqo'te by the buttocks and grinding against him. I furled my brow in vexation at what I witnessed as I realized what was going on it. Urianger seemed to understand what I was looked for and made a suggestion, "I have a recollection that there exists a secret club hidden within the Black Shroud that goes by the name 'Palace of the Dead', seekest thou the entrance and the deepest floor and thou should find thy internal release." I took one last gaze around the Waking Sands, shook my head and just walked out.
I started to head back home but Urianger's little riddle about this Palace of the Dead had me intrigued. I was after all, quite frustrated and could use a good internal release. I teleported to the aetheryte plaza in Gridania to start my trip. I asked a nearby wood wailer about this 'Palace of the Dead' and he got a weird look on his faced and wondered why I was asking but he calmed down a bit after I dropped Urianger's name. He told me I needed to head to Quarrymill in the southern reaches of the Black Shroud so I thanked him and started on my way.
The trip was mostly uneventful although I ran into some wood wailers who were attempting to deal with some bandits. I helped them out and in return they gave me some more Maelstrom seals. I thought to myself, "Seriously, why do wood wailers or Flames guards have seals for Maelstrom Command?" and then I asked them for some gil so they gave me 277 gil. At least they're not as cheap as those Flames.
I sought out a the important looking elezen in Quarrymill once I arrived and asked him about getting to the bottom of the Palace of the Dead. He looked really excited and told me that he was hoping for more adventures to go in because the Palace is very dangerous and need to be cleared out. I'll admit, I was a little confused because of what Urianger said but I figured the people at the bottom must be super strong and super sexy. I took this really weird greatsword and headed into the palace. The first thing I noticed is that as soon as I entered that greatsword started glowing.
I cleave my way through the floors and it was right around floor 50 when I noticed that I ran into Edda. I'm pretty sure she fell to her death in Tam Tara so I demolished this freak of nature and continued on my way. It got progressively harder and harder but the weird thing is that greatsword seemed to get stronger and stronger as I was looting the place. I started to lose track of how deep I had gone and then gave up counted and just continued to press one because I really wanted that internal release I was promised.
I had a tough fight and descended yet again to find that I reached the bottom. I found what looked like an oddly desolate environment that was reminiscent of the Coerthan Highlands. As I scanned the environment I didn't see anyone. Curses Urianger! You have misled me! It was right about then that I noticed a bench with four people underneath a tree so I walked over to them. As I got closer I realized this was a dragoon pimp with his three female miqo'te... ahem... ladies of the night. He had a pretty good selection for what you might like. So I asked him, "How much to spend some time with these lovely ladies?"
He smiled a knowing smile, they always know what you mean, and responded, "It's going to be three hundred and fifty gil." "Three hundred and fifty gil!" I exclaimed, "I just earned that much traveling here and helping out things because I was bored, how can you profit with such low rates?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I make it work."
I fumbled in my pockets for the gil and started to hand it over to the dragoon but it was right about that time that I noticed there weren't any miqo'te females and this dragoon was actually a hundred foot tall crustacean from the paleolithic era. "Gods dammit monster!" I yelled, "You nearly tricked me again! I ain't giving you no tree fiddy!" So I stormed out the Palace of the Dead and vowed never to return.