Abusive parents, both twisted and cruel people. They were also intelligent, so they got creative with their abuse.
Their treatment of me gave me problems that I didn't understand until my early 30s -- like, right now. I've had Stockholm syndrome or something; if I stood up to their abuse I'd get thrown down flights of stairs or drugged with Thorazine. If I acted out my mom would force me to watch these terrifying horror movies that'd give me nightmares for weeks.
My mom made me be friends with this kid who was abusing the shit out of me, and not only did she not do anything about it when I told her, she treated this kid like he was family... for years. This kid who was making my life an absolute hell. My brother even used to hang out with him and they'd torment me together.
One time I was kidnapped and tortured by my last "friend" and his sociopathic new friend; I had to escape from it in like a thriller movie. It wasn't childhood japes, either, that latter kid ended up going to federal prison for a few years for attempted murder, he was a scary dude. And when I told my parents, they thought it was hilarious. Which isn't surprising considering they made me be friends with these sociopathic little assholes, and encouraged me to date all these really sick, fucked up women. And I'd get threatened by my whole family, not just my parents, if I tried to stand up for myself. I can't believe I let them do this to me my whole life.
They convinced me I was this broken, fucked up, loser, piece of shit, womanly pathetic freak. Created this little mini-hell involving friends and family. Created false memories for me to explain why I was fucked up, and other people in my family would go along with it. And I haven't even listed some of the worst stuff that happened.
They still call me and try to bully me to this day. Despite all this I got a college degree, a law degree, and jobs with big corporations. Lived in New York City and had some adventures. But I'm still really fucked up from it. I haven't had close friends in over a decade, and I haven't asked out a girl in 13 years, after my last horror show of a girlfriend my family convinced me to date. I'm definitely in need of a fresh start here.
Is this stuff messed up? Because this is totally normal to me, because I'm apparently convinced that I deserved it. So yeah, it's probably part of the cause of my social anxiety.