My friend and I were pretty stupid teenagers early on in high school, and hung around equally stupid teenagers. So my friend was in the clay and ceramics class along with most of the other slackers, and it became sort of a thing to try to make pipes in that class, which people tried with various levels of success.

Well we're all hanging around the mall one weekend, and wander off to a dark corner of the huge parking lot that has a giant unlit field bordering it that spans out to the freeway. Most kids go there to fool around, do drugs, etc. A kid we're with pulls out weed as a cop happens to drive by. He notices, of course, and stops while the kid shoves the weed into his boxers. The cop asks us what's up, asks to search us which - because we didn't know any better - we consent to. He frisks the kid, doesn't find anything much to our relief, so we're all feeling like we got away with it because none of us have anything else on us.

Well, we thought. He rifles through my friend's bag a bit, pulls out some prescription pill bottles and checks 'em out, and then makes a "hmm" sound and pulls out the most lumpy half-assed homemade pipe I've ever seen. My friend, who is a timid shy sort of girl just immediately blushes ten shades of red, and the cop just dead-pans "what is this."

"Well.. I made it at school..."

"Is it a marijuana pipe?"

-silence-

And then the cop just, bursts out laughing. Just doubles over. "Ya know, this is really embarrassing. I can't get you in trouble for this. This has got to be the worst pipe I've ever seen. I'm just going to take it and throw it out, and you're going to take this as a warning, okay?" And then when my friend nods, he goes, "honestly I think this is so bad, no one would believe this is paraphernalia. Good luck with passing that class" and walks off laughing his ass off. I like to believe he kept it.