I don't care about the beer. This is what I had to keep reminding myself as my life slowly piece by piece fell out of any rational sense of order or even common decency. I don't know, how or why it happened. At first honestly it bothered me. having a beer permanently attached to my hand defied any sense of logic or common sense, but over time I discovered I didn't care. The fact I didn't drink implied it was someone or something's idea of a joke, but again I discovered I didn't care.

It turns out there are just way too many practical uses for a 3 inch constantly cold, carbonated, and alcoholic stream of liquid. I didn't care that it was beer. At first I took the obvious and most foolish approach: showing it to some physicists friends. Looking back I would not do this again. Too much risk I realize now. This thing whatever it was or had caused it was the solution to the energy crisis and quite possibly capable of destroying the world; the fewer people knew about it the better. Luckily, Tom my wifes brother and his colleagues after they worked out it really wasn't some elaborate trick (it took them a while) were nothing but help, pointing me towards the most practical uses for my god send. The obvious, water power, turned out to be quite impractical it would require me to stand practically at the top of a mountain and let the beer flow all the way down to produce enough power to make it worth my time. Instead they proposed to possible endeavors. First the obvious selling the beer. I looked into this, but was told by people who know about such things that it was the worst beer they'd ever tasted. Not a great bet. Plan B then was to burn it or in particular the alcohol inside. It turned out after some tests the beer was about 6% alcohol (quite high). This meant though I could with some extra distillation produce totally pure alcohol at a rate of around gallon a minute perfectly suitable for power generation or conversion into biofuel.

Since that's realization I've slowly scaled up my operation. At first I distilled alcohol out of my garage producing only a small amount and then selling it to others in its raw form, but it brought in a steady stream of money and before the year was out I had enough money to move into a small warehouse with the proper equipment to distill at scale and volume. In a few more I'd been able to build my plant. The very building you find yourself in now. Here we can produce almost 2,000 gallons of biofuel a day. This is the good stuff. Pure and converted in digesters so that just about any type of car can burn it.