Interviewer: "Who are you, why are you here?"
Me: "Who am I? Why am I here? Well I thought we made it clear I wanted to apply for vice president of technology position."
Interviewer: "All right. Tell me about yourself."
Me: "Well, I've been in the industry for over a decade now. I have a lot of experience with the technology you use. As far as my hobbies, well, I LOVE Dan Quayle quotes."
Interviewer: "Dan Quayle?"
Me: "Yeah, like when he said that he 'understands the importance of bondage between parent and child.' Haha, he mixed up bonding and bondage. Two completely different meanings. Haha."
Interviewer: <stares>. "Let's move on. Tell me about a time where you had to make a difficult decision on the job."
Me: "Well, we were about to go live with this product, when we discovered a serious flaw. We had to decide, did we want to go live with the flaw or should we delay the product for 2 weeks? Delaying would definitely cost us thousands of dollars, but we couldn't put a price on the harm to our reputation if we pushed out a flawed product. So I decided we should wait. I mean, I think this shows that I have made good judgments in the past. And I have made good judgments in the future."
Interviewer: "Tell me about how you would handle your responsibilities if you were hired."
Me: "Well, one word sums up the responsibility of any vice president. And that one word is, 'to be prepared'."
Interviewer: "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Me: "Well, I would like to move up. Maybe be CTO. But whatever I do, I would like to be successful. If i do not succeed, I run the risk of failure."
Interviewer. "All right. Now for some fun. What is your dream vacation?"
Me: "Well, I would like to go to Hawaii. Obviously, everyone likes Hawaii because it's a beautiful place, but I also love the political history. Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. I mean, well, it is in the Pacific. It is part of the United States...that is in an island...that is right here."
Interviewer: "Thank you for your time. We'll call you soon."
Me: "Thank you for your time as well."