What the **** is wrong with me?

Nothing, but this...

i haven't been in a super serious relationship since

It's perfectly fine to have good memories, but if you want to live a healthy and happy life then you need to move on. You need to give other people chances and not expect someone you just met to compete with a fantasy in your head of someone you dated for a year and a half six years ago.

I know how the saying goes, that teens don't know what love is but i honestly think i was

I loved the girls I dated when I was young too. Not in the same way that I would love someone now, but that doesn't make it any less real. When you are a kid everything is more dramatic - highs are higher and lows are lower. When you are young you have very little to compare things to and your emotions are more intense. Your fears are scarier, your fantasies are more elaborate, and you don't have the life experience to notice or react properly to things that an adult could.

The more relationships you have the more you will know what you want, the less shit you'll be willing to put up with, and in general your relationships will be healthier, more reliable, and less dramatic. However, because of that they will also be in some way less exciting. They will be based in the real world and not a childhood fantasy.

At 30 your dream girl isn't going to be an innocent child who knows nothing about the world, has no relationship experience, and treats you the way a 14 year old treats her first boyfriend. You're not going to care if she's a virgin or if she has loved other people before, nor are you going to expect her to throw herself blindly into an overly dramatic commitment of love just because she finds you cute. Instead, your perfect girl will be one who uses her experiences to reach a much more rational adult decision that you are someone she wants to commit to. It might be a little less like a Disney movie, but it's a lot more real.